Wednesday, 12 May 2010

A Day for Remembrance

Today is a very difficult day for me its 45 years since my gorgeous son Ian died from a Acute Lymphatic Leukaemia, he was just short of 6 months, as you can see in this photo he was 9 weeks old and a beautiful baby, he looks a lot older than he was, and in fact when they diagnosed his condition they though he was at least 6 months but in the time I had him he lived many years, he even cut a tooth and met his great, great grandma to. I should like to introduce you to all the people who are in this photo from left to right, thats me Shirley with my son Ian on my lap and my daughter Karen in the front, she was almost 3 years old, behind her is my sister Linda with her new husband, and my brother Robin on the right, I wont tell you how old we were but this was taken in 1965 and Im now 67 years old so you can figure it out for yourself, my sister is 6 years younger and my brother 4.
Anyway as I said today is rather a difficult day and I wanted to make it special as over the last year so many of us have lost very dear ones, I lost my mum in November and I know a number of you also have lost yours, and several of my dear friends have lost children to and are finding it extremly difficult to cope with their loss, I dont think we ever get over it but have to learn to live with it. So I wanted to let you know its ok to grieve and also dont let anyone stop you talking about the ones youve lost as it helps to, its even ok to cry if that helps. My own believe is that one day I will see my son again and he will be fit and well and running around, and even probably grown up as well.
Now the Bittersweet thing thats happened today is I received a email from my future granddaughter in law, she told me that she and my eldest grandson have booked the date for their wedding, mind you its two years
away but in their neck of the woods its a necessity to get the date you want. The ironic part is theyve picked a date between my mums Birthday and her Wedding Anniversary, the 18th of August 2012, which I find is a blessing as its like my mum has sent a message to say that its ok to live again and we can look forward to a wonderful future for the pair of them. So something good has come on a day I never look forward to, and the sun is out to.
Theres also one more thing Id like to promote and thats Kimmi's Race for Life thats shes taking part in on the 23rd of May, if you would like to sponser her or give her support please pop across to and do so as Cancer is one of those dreadful deceases that really need to be got rid of. 


celia said...

Hi Shirley,dit is een dag dat je zeker niet kan of mag vergeten,het moet vreselijk zijn om een kind en een dierbare te vrliezen.Het is goed dat je er om kan rouwen.Zolang er lieve mensen om je heen zijn en je iets hebt om naar uit te kijken is het leven nog veel waard!!!Heel veel liefs,Celia.

Kimmi said...

Morning Shirley

Wow - Time flies by so quickly. I remember you posting about your son last year when Michelle was doing the fight cancer appeal.

Sending you lots of hugs Shirley. I'm sure you need them at the moment. Will be thinking of you.


Kimmi xxx

p.s. thanks for the shout out for my Race For Life - not long now - May 23rd :) Its such an emotional day. Thanks for your sponsorship again xx

Angela said...

Shirley, sending you a big hug today!!! Your son will always be close to your heart, loved and remembered. I don't thimk you can ever get over something like this, you just get by in the best way that you can.
(I came so close to loosing Philip).

You have to look to the future with the lovely news of a wedding and another new beginning,
Angela x

Mandy said...

Hi Shirley,
I found your post sad but also happy that you remember your son with such love and affection..I have lost 3 uncles,2 aunties and a cousin all in the last 18 months but I love remembering and talking about all of them,doesn't mean I don't often have a tear in my eye when I do..sending you big((((HUGS))) and kisses and thinking of you...And how lovely that you had good news as well today..take care..
Mandy xx

Wishcraft said...

Oh Shirley what a lovely post to remember your son xx I often feel people would prefer me not to talk about our son who we lost, but I think it's so important that we do. I hope today is not too hard for you xx Lisa x

Paula said...

Hi Shirley,

Sending you huge hugs today and always we never forget and always have our babies in our hearts. You know where i am if you need to chat just like you was for me.

Big Big hugs.

Love Paula xxxx

Crafty Chris said...

Life is hard Shirley, its awful losing the ones that we love, cancer took my Mum 19 years ago now, and my Dad 16 years ago to heart attack, you feel like an orphan when there gone no matter what age you are, but I still talk to them, and always say until we meet again, in a happier place.
Thinking of you
Christine x

Rach said...

Sending big hugs your way Shirley, what a wonderful way to remember your beautiful baby boy. xxx
wonderful news about the date for your grandsons wedding, something lovely to look forward too... big big hugs RAchxx

Sue said...

Hi Shirley
what a sad but lovely post hun bought a tear to my eye, sending you a big hug hun. No we never forget our lost ones, we have to learn to live without them, but they are always with us in our hearts.sue,xx

Kim Piggott said...

Shirley it must be such a sad day for you. I am sending lots of loving thoughts your way.
kim x

Clare *Littlebear* said...

I'm not great with words Shirley, but I am thinking of you and sending you love and hugs on this difficult day.
Clare x

Spyder said...

Sending you lots of loving thoughts today Shirley.


sundownerin said...

my dear shirley,
a take you in my arms, give you a big and long hug today, and say nothing, so that we can hear through the silence the voices brought by the wind wispering in our ears: i am allways with you.......

Poppy said...

lots of love Shirley.

Stef H (Glitterbabe) said...

what a fabulous post! i lost my mom when i was 29 just short of my son's 3rd birthday. i still miss her terribly - over 30 yrs ago. but losing a child is the hardest of all and we never forget!

your GDIL & grandson are an absolutely beautiful couple and big congrats are definitely in order.

thank you for sharing such a heart-warming though heart-breaking moment! i am truly glad we met!

Elaine said...

Such a sad and touching story, and it made me cry to think of your terrible loss. I don't think you ever get over the loss of a loved one, particularly a child, but we learn to live with it.
But the photo is lovely, and it's so nice of you to show it to us.
Glad to hear you have some good news, and something to look forward to.
Elaine xx

Jules said...

Hi Shirley

What a difficult post this must have been for you to write.

I don't think we ever get over losing someone we love - we just learn to accept it (reluctantly).

I have never lost a child - and cannot begin to imagine the pain this must bring - but I have lost my hero.. .. my Dad.

Although this was many years ago now in some ways it feels like yesterday.

Sometimes I dream about him and it is like we are meeting again. In my dream I always hug him and say "I miss you Dad" and he always replies "I know you do". It seems so real that part of me feels that we did actually meet again and I have a lovely feeling inside when I wake up the next day.

I love to talk about my Dad because I was and still am so proud of him .. .. but I still miss him so much.

But you have good news today too. Better get your diary marked off for the wedding stationery!!

Love and hugs on this difficult day

Jules xx

Enfys said...

What a beautiful tribute to your baby Shirley, my heart goes out to you. Sending you and your family big hugs
En xx

Carolyn Bounds said...

I know this post was heart wrenching for you to write, and my heart goes out to you during this difficult time. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!! I cannot fathom the thought of losing a child, but I lost my father a few years ago...and still have difficult days. Like you, I speak of him often as he was such a major inspiration in my life...sometimes with smiles and laughter and sometimes through tears. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment with all of us. Here is a {{{{{HUGE HUG}}}}}} for you!!!

On a happier note...CONGRATULATIONS on the upcoming nuptials of your handsome grandson and his beautiful fiancee:o) I wish them all the very best!!!

More hugs to you!!!

coldwaters2 said...

Hi Shirley what a lovely post and a wonderful tribute to your son and mum two very special people who remain for ever in your heart. Bless you.
Lorraine x